Systems

This week we focused on different theories when it comes to families, especially the Family Systems Theory. This theory emphasizes that families are made of parts that are NOT independent; what happens to one member affects the others. Often, subsystems arise within the system of a family. For example, parents are (or at least should be) a subsystem because they interact in unique ways as opposed to interacting with their children.

Here are some more characteristics of Family Systems Theory:

1: Problems aren't located in individuals themselves, but rather in the communication between them. So if we drew it all out and we had circles representing family members and lines connecting them representing their communication, the break wouldn't be in the circles, it would be in the lines.

2.Circular causality. Sometimes there isn't one "cause" to a problem, but the multiple causes affect each other in a circular pattern. For example, Becky feels like her mom is always on her case, so she doesn't like being around Mom. Mom feels like she wouldn't need to be after Becky quite so much if she would just talk to her. Is Becky's withdrawn attitude the problem or is it the micromanaging mom? They both are--they work together in a circle patter, affecting each other.

3. Rules are a result of redundant action. We learn the unspoken "rules" of our family through repetition  If your mom constantly gets mad when you badger her, you learn constantly reminding mom is not a good idea.

4. Feedback loops guide behavior. There's positive feedback, which just means it's feedback that encourages the same behavior, regardless of whether or not the behavior itself is positive (Laughing when a son kicks the dog instead of correcting him is positive feedback.) Negative feedback is just corrective feedback, again regardless whether or not the behavior itself is negative. (Parents pressuring their recently converted child to stop going to church is negative feedback)

5.Conflicting messages contributes to relationship problems. Sending conflicting messages is called double binding, and can actually lead to schizophrenia as people don't know which message to follow.

6. In family systems, all members have their roles. There's the peacemaker, the motivator, the hero, the clown, the problem child, etc... Roles can change when children move out, but they often find themselves drifting back into their old roles when they return home.

7.Going along with subsystems, there are different kinds of boundaries defining relationships with other people. Diffuse boundaries are like fence posts with not fence between--a little too open. Rigid boundaries are like cinder block walls keeping anything and everything out. Healthy, clear boundaries are like cute picket fences: friendly, open, but a definite and clear boundary. Another observation: Picket fences aren't made to be straddled. Think about that one.

Family systems, all summed up, is about synergy. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. The system and relationships in a family contribute things that would otherwise not be able to be created.